Dottypie and myself are currently in the process of making decisions on where abouts we would like to go to university and have ended up in two totally different situations. I have all my offers. I know where I want to go and what grades I need and will hopefully obtain in order to attend my chosen university. Dorothy has got most of her offers but thinks her grades may exceed the expected by the universities and wonders if she should apply to 'better' universities next year and take a year out. She has also been offered a place on a History of Art course at one of the universities she has applied to rather than History and English Literature which is what she wanted. Basically life is hard for us fledgling university attendees and I feel like blogging may help us get some stuff straightened out.
First up I am feeling pretty jammy after visiting my preferred uni and absolutely loving it to bits, the place, the people, the food and most importantly, my course. And this got me wondering, all this time I have been encouraging Dorothy to go for it with the unis she has applied to because somewhere is better than nowhere, right? Wrong. If she doesn't think she would be happy there, why am I pushing her to go somewhere she wouldn't be happy? Because I am scared that's why, I have had it drilled into me that college then university is THE only path way and for me anything that prolongs or confuses this process terrifies me, I am in a very lucky position and I realise this now, because if I hadn't loved it there it wouldn't have mattered because my second and third choices are just as great and would be great places to live and learn. Just wondering Dorothy if I have been a totally rubbish friend in all my advice giving, or if anything I have said has been useful?
I think it has, but at the same time, because everyone wants to advise you, it all end up confusing you more. My preferred unis rejected me (frown), so I was only left with ones that I never properly considered. At the same time, it's possible that I won't exceed the entry requirements, and therefore rejecting the offers that I do have would be educational suicide. I feel like I'm in Wonderland with Alice, trying to choose which door to go though because can't fit though the one I want. I feel like my whole life is revolving around this moment and I simply do not know what I want to do. None of the unis that have offered me places ignite the flame of learning, I've even created a exceedingly complicated excel sheet to try and compare, and they've all come out pretty equal and it's getting ridiculous now because time is running out. I feel that although I'm only 18, I'm running out of time to prepare my whole life. I just wish I had had that moment that Daphne had when you look around look a place and say: This is it. Like the educational version of a wedding dress I think. But perhaps I'm asking too much of an institution.
Either way, I'm completely and utterly shit scared about the future. I know what I want to do, kind of, work in the publishing, magazine or curating industries. So basically something cultural. I just don't have a clue HOW to go about it and I'm terrified of being unemployed. I'm sick of being scared all the time. And I want someone to tell me what to do, even though I probably wouldn't follow their advice. I feel like whatever decision I make, I'll regret it.
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