Right now, at this precise moment in time, I have little to no motivation to do any of the work I need to do (essays people. essays), I have plenty of time, that is nowhere close to the problem. The problem isn't even that I struggle with the work, the problem is the concept of the work itself. It glares at me from that little corner of my brain surrounded by barbed wire and army style assault courses saying DO NOT EVEN ATTEMPT and I listen to it. Whole heartedly. The problem is entirely mine of course, if I do the work I feel like I am walking on sunshine, I am the queen and the birds are singing for me. But at the same time I have this all consuming dread that prevents me from even looking at it, from just the slightest positioning of my pen on paper. My body physically rejects the concept and I, instead, have weird new obsessions.
1. I am a massive language nerd and love Spanish, I discovered 'Spanish Geordie/Jersey Shore' - GandÃa Shore and watched the whole first series
2. Cryptic Crosswords used to just infuriate me but now I cannot stop until I have conquered that stupid little box full of squares
3.Painting my left thumbnail with nail varnish, removing it and continuing to do so with every single nail polish I own, so I can decide which ones to chuck out (none)
4.Googling pointless facts about pandas (they are actually carnivores but choose to eat bamboo)
5.I taught myself some basic conversational Russian and the sign language alphabet
6. Reading the first chapters of books in order to decide which ones to read
To summarise, all the time I 'wasted' doing these things may not appear to have benefited my work directly but I am sure (being the optimist I am) that they will eventually have positive repercussions and that it isn't 'time wasting' simply time reassignment...
Daphne
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