Once again displaying why I HATE The Daily Mail

http://vagendamag.blogspot.co.uk/2013/06/glorying-in-drugs-girls-and-sleaze.html

Read and loathe with me. Thank you. 

My response to the average Daily Mail writer.

On of the things that I hate is they way they carry on about the 'sexualizing of children' yet continue to post pictures of young girls of around 14 and describe them as 'flaunting their enviable figures'. Creeeps.

My First Foray in to a Strip Club

So on Saturday I ended up in a strip club. I wasn't my intention, and I feel like a little bit of me died inside, but I didn't really have a great deal of choice, I could have joined a group of people that I felt equally uncomfortable around and didn't like, or i could join the people inside where the like/dislike ratio was about even and if I'm blatantly honest I was a little curious. Basically, it was a close friends 18th, so we went out on the town. But then it took a turn for the seedy when said birthday girl decided it would be fun-times to go in to a strip club named 'WILDCATS', a small concrete building with a neon pink woman/cat sign plastered above the door and creepy men loitering outside. I was pretty apprehensive  but when everyone (around 15 people) decided to make a go for it, so instead of standing out side of a strip club, which would look a bit dodgy, I went in. And I just found it pretty disheartening.

I wasn't fazed by the nudity, perhaps because all my friends are pretty open, and I'm not a prude. I used to do a lot of swimming, like 7 times a week, and there was naked women foaming naked at either side of me, IT IS ALWAYS THE GROSS ONES and although it was a bit uncomfortable, I got over it. Although I've got to say holding a conversation with a very nude lady with the most pubic hair you will ever see is pretty distracting.

What I didn't like was the objectification, it just made me feel really uncomfortable when the boys that I was with (I knew they were twattish before hand such twats) were telling me to move out of the way (they were sitting down, I was standing up) so they 'could see it'. These boys in particular experience have always seemed to have superiority complex, but you could almost feel these girls walking around, and maybe it's because I'm female, but when looked around I just saw me. Well, I saw a girl wearing the same nail colour as me, and another who was obviously wearing a underwear set that I had seriously considered buying from Miss Selfridge, and remember feeling a wave of empathy.  I know that these women were here by choice, and that a few of them were probably students like myself.  But I remember thinking how horrid the 'patrons' were, they had a complete lack of respect for them, it wasn't like they went there and looked grateful to the strippers, they had complete disdain for them they are good enough to stare at naked but not to be viewed as a fellow human being. And I just felt uncomfortable there, on one hand I was all 'well it's their choice, I'm not going to come in here and act all high and mighty', but on the other hand I could never go to, lets say, a male strip club and feel good about watching it. I think that if someone was to strip for me I would want it to be because they actually wanted to, not because I was paying them. As I am sure many do, you minx, you.  But on the other hand, people can make money out of themselves if they want to.

The whole thing made me think about the way the night-life works, often girls are let in cheaper or free to clubs, and that's to get guys in who want to feel up a couple of girls and maybe get lucky. So much feeling up, I got a crotch grab on Saturday, crotch! How long has that been a thing!? Entirely not okay. I actually got into the strip club for free. The whole thing is about sex. And the desperation that these people obviously felt to see some vag almost made me pity them. Almost? Pity away my dear because it is sad, it is like those men that eat their sausage rolls whilst oggling page three in The sun, totally pathetic (not the sausage rolls obviously). Maybe it's because I'm not a really sexual person, but it just seemed so animalistic. Not in a creepy way clearly, but I would say that I am a quite sexual person and I refused to go on, payed or free, I just wanted to dance with my friends. I am not sure how I feel about strip clubs because I am not wholly against them but something about this place just looked so entirely seedy it made me very sad. And made me feel worthless, because I was surrounded by men objectifying other women. And I knew if I ever got naked up there, or even got up there with clothes on, that they could treat me like that too. I know some of my friends had fun, the birthday girl got a strip/lap dance thing, which she loved, and the experience was quite funny, in a 'that was weird' way. But it was a bit soulless, perhaps a 'classier' venue next time?

Dorothy and Daphne

When Ladies Pay Goes Up,Their Husbands Penis's Go Down

Some new Danish Research, published by the Pacific Standard  suggests that although your partner may be saying that they are fine with your bread winning status, the reality is that they really are, at least, parts of their body isn't. For some men, this seemingly ego deflating notion causes a significantly higher propensity to take Viagra  As my learned friend Lamar Pierce says “Even small differences in relative income are associated with large changes in ED medication usage when they shift the marriage from a male to a female breadwinner,”

His findings are even more important because they were conducted in Denmark, which is a country known for its 'progressive gender attitude' so, in a more traditional environment  you would expect the results to be amplified. The actual results of the survey was this:  “men outearned by their wives are more likely to use erectile dysfunction medication than their male breadwinner counterparts, even when this inequality is small.” They add that “the increase in ED medication usage continues as the gap between the wages of the wife and husband increases.”

However, this study was conducted with a very specific group of couples, the men stated off earning more than women, who then over took the financially. This suggests that “men who knowingly marry high-earning females suffer no psychological costs from future income comparisons,” the researchers write.

Further, it's actually in marriages specifically where this effect takes place, the un-married co-habitating couples  the don't seem to be any unusual problems in the bedroom . Suggesting that its the tradition view of marriage that is influencing the findings. 

I'm not married, so I can't really comment on it personally, but perhaps we should go into marriages expecting financial situations to change.

Dorothy

Love and Lust: A View By Daphne

I don't brag to have had multiple sexual experiences but I have recently had a slight epiphany on the positive aspects of having sex with someone that you ACTUALLY like. Really like. It has just started to make me think that some of those drunken fumbley experienced I described as excellent were really just uncomfortable. I mean there were some pros. 

Pros

• Doesn't matter if you haven't shaved/underwear doesn't match/have made questionable hair or fashion choices. Likelihood is you will never, ever see this individual again and if you do you will both do your damnedest to pretend that you have never met.
• You can try out any 'new moves' you have been developing mentally, without giving a crap if they aren't enjoying the whole 'wait a minute, nearly there' aspect of the situation. 
• The (usually) alcohol fuelled magic of the night makes you forget any uncomfortable moments, accidental falling off the bed, kept your socks on or that moment when you couldn't undo your bra and took it off like a jumper.
• You can be incredibly selfish, selfish like you have never been before. Just blame it on the alcohol...

Cons

• You feel a bit awkward cuddling a stranger and leaving at four in the morning makes you feel a little bit grotty (taxi drivers most definitely judge you too).
• Speaking of taxi-driver-judgement, the walk of shame is just too uncomfortable to bear and nine times out of ten you will bump into your grandma's best mate or an old school teacher, you can practically feel their burning disappointment. 
• Raiding a stranger's kitchen is slightly inappropriate but sometimes all you want is a cuppa and some paracetamol and what a surprise Mr Charming from last night is gone, replaced by Mr Lies In Bed Until You Leave. 
• If you do miraculously stay in contact with this individual and it develops into anything, they can always use the circumstances of your get together against you, oh and accuse you of being 'that sort of girl'. The fun having kind? 

Then there is having sex with someone you like, someone that doesn't make you feel like a piece of toast that landed butter side down that they blew the crumbs off and ate anyway. It is pretty nice really. As someone who has had body confidence issues and whatnot it is surprisingly lovely. 

Pros

• You are already comfortable with this person, you want to know more about this person and you are sharing something rather excellent that can only really get better from here on out. 
• Totally okay to cuddle away to your hearts content and you want to say nice things to each other  and actually talk about things you like. 
• I may have mentioned that not having shaved or mismatching underwear or bad fashion choices don't matter in a one night stand set up. Well I am here to inform you ladies, if you don't already know of course, that it doesn't matter with someone you like either; yes they might make fun of you for it but at the end of the day this person really likes you and it is only teasing, they don't care as long as it is you. 
• You don't have to pull any 'special moves' because just being yourself is enough.
• Awkward or uncomfortable moments are rare and funny later on so you don't even have to worry about that really.

Basically, if the person in question really likes you then not much actually matters as long as you are both happy in bed. I'm sure there are lots of cons and plenty of pros to casual sex, because I championed it for long enough, women being in control of their own sexuality. But for someone that has only recently really experienced how intimate sex can be with someone you care about, definitely think I am going to stick with this for a while. 

Why are girls ashamed of MASTURBATION

Walking in the.....













A discussion with Daphne and Dorothy

About a year ago, my female friends I were having a frank, and well, drunk discussion. On masturbation, or as the topic was referred to throughout the convo: DIY sex.  Everyone talks about how often boys get up to it, yet for girls, it's still a bit of a taboo subject. So lets bash it out (no pun intended, OK, so maybe their was, a bit).I approve the pun. When I admitted that my digits do sometimes wander down to the southern region, silence fell around me. And people looked at me like I was a talking duck, no it was more like you were declaring yourself a fan of WWII or the bit in Bambi where his mum dies. I'm pretty sure that I'm not an addict, and that I'm not going to feature on any faux-sincere documentary on wank addicts, the main motivation really is just curiosity, and just checking it's all working down there. By no means is it a time consuming hobby, distracting me from my studies, I just think its beneficial to know your own body. It suprised me that the majority of  them seemed to be scared , like they were terrified that their vagina was going to grow teeth. Awful film might I add, never watch it. Ever.

Secretly I think that a few more of the girls that were collapsed drunkenly beside me had also participated in the past, but were to ashamed, for some reason to admit it. When I was about ten, I got the sex talk, which I point blank refused to listen to, it all sounded completely horrifying,  I had already worked out the logistics when I read a science book about animals once when I was ill .I looked up sexual intercourse in the dictionary, it was enlightening. So instead my parents slipped a book, all about the sex, complete with child friendly cartoons, under my door. It even had the 'prudish' bee and the 'experimental' bird, class act.

it has since turned out that my hunch was right. They were all at it, OK  perhaps not all, but many of them (three of the five) have since come up to me and admitted that they actually were a fan, but had been too ashamed to admit it. The had all felt that they were the only people in the world, and the ones that weren't active felt like they were the only ones not. Why is that? Is it because the fact that you need to betrays an uncommonly high sex drive, and that it's something 'unladylike'? A lot of things are 'wrong', such as stealing the charity buckets from people dressed up as chickens, or playing hairdressers when you were younger and actually cutting their hair (this happened to me, it was pretty harrowing)/dyeing your friend's hair an unflattering colour - sorry about that Dorothy mate. But masturbation isn't wrong. We only think it is as it isn't commonly talked about, at least not among girls.

Ann Summers and such proves there is a massive buissness for masturbation, so perhaps it's just my age group that's 'ashamed' and we'll eventually grow out of it, and all start buying 'rampant rabbits' and living happily ever after. (I don't actually have a vibrator, I find the idea quite intimidating). I think the point she is making is that  if we need to be ashamed of masturbation then we should be ashamed of having a wee or ever having a question because it is normal bodily curiosity and frankly these outdated, Victorian concepts and opinions on repressing female sexuality (erm why do the middle aged women get to have all the Fifty-Shades kind of fun) should loosen their corsets and show a little ankle. And it most certainly will not make you go blind, or bald. Can I also add though that Fifty Shades is shite.

Dorothy and Daphne

For more Greatness: http://rookiemag.com/2011/10/do-it-yourself/