My First Foray in to a Strip Club

So on Saturday I ended up in a strip club. I wasn't my intention, and I feel like a little bit of me died inside, but I didn't really have a great deal of choice, I could have joined a group of people that I felt equally uncomfortable around and didn't like, or i could join the people inside where the like/dislike ratio was about even and if I'm blatantly honest I was a little curious. Basically, it was a close friends 18th, so we went out on the town. But then it took a turn for the seedy when said birthday girl decided it would be fun-times to go in to a strip club named 'WILDCATS', a small concrete building with a neon pink woman/cat sign plastered above the door and creepy men loitering outside. I was pretty apprehensive  but when everyone (around 15 people) decided to make a go for it, so instead of standing out side of a strip club, which would look a bit dodgy, I went in. And I just found it pretty disheartening.

I wasn't fazed by the nudity, perhaps because all my friends are pretty open, and I'm not a prude. I used to do a lot of swimming, like 7 times a week, and there was naked women foaming naked at either side of me, IT IS ALWAYS THE GROSS ONES and although it was a bit uncomfortable, I got over it. Although I've got to say holding a conversation with a very nude lady with the most pubic hair you will ever see is pretty distracting.

What I didn't like was the objectification, it just made me feel really uncomfortable when the boys that I was with (I knew they were twattish before hand such twats) were telling me to move out of the way (they were sitting down, I was standing up) so they 'could see it'. These boys in particular experience have always seemed to have superiority complex, but you could almost feel these girls walking around, and maybe it's because I'm female, but when looked around I just saw me. Well, I saw a girl wearing the same nail colour as me, and another who was obviously wearing a underwear set that I had seriously considered buying from Miss Selfridge, and remember feeling a wave of empathy.  I know that these women were here by choice, and that a few of them were probably students like myself.  But I remember thinking how horrid the 'patrons' were, they had a complete lack of respect for them, it wasn't like they went there and looked grateful to the strippers, they had complete disdain for them they are good enough to stare at naked but not to be viewed as a fellow human being. And I just felt uncomfortable there, on one hand I was all 'well it's their choice, I'm not going to come in here and act all high and mighty', but on the other hand I could never go to, lets say, a male strip club and feel good about watching it. I think that if someone was to strip for me I would want it to be because they actually wanted to, not because I was paying them. As I am sure many do, you minx, you.  But on the other hand, people can make money out of themselves if they want to.

The whole thing made me think about the way the night-life works, often girls are let in cheaper or free to clubs, and that's to get guys in who want to feel up a couple of girls and maybe get lucky. So much feeling up, I got a crotch grab on Saturday, crotch! How long has that been a thing!? Entirely not okay. I actually got into the strip club for free. The whole thing is about sex. And the desperation that these people obviously felt to see some vag almost made me pity them. Almost? Pity away my dear because it is sad, it is like those men that eat their sausage rolls whilst oggling page three in The sun, totally pathetic (not the sausage rolls obviously). Maybe it's because I'm not a really sexual person, but it just seemed so animalistic. Not in a creepy way clearly, but I would say that I am a quite sexual person and I refused to go on, payed or free, I just wanted to dance with my friends. I am not sure how I feel about strip clubs because I am not wholly against them but something about this place just looked so entirely seedy it made me very sad. And made me feel worthless, because I was surrounded by men objectifying other women. And I knew if I ever got naked up there, or even got up there with clothes on, that they could treat me like that too. I know some of my friends had fun, the birthday girl got a strip/lap dance thing, which she loved, and the experience was quite funny, in a 'that was weird' way. But it was a bit soulless, perhaps a 'classier' venue next time?

Dorothy and Daphne

Why I need to stop spending my money. Daphne

I am no where near alcoholic status before you all panic, but I do seem to spend increasing amounts of money on going out nowadays. So here is my cause for concern, as we have mentioned a few times I am going away for hopefully a long duration this summer and ideally would not like to spend more money when I have plans that require a bit of cash. Which means I shouldn't spend the amount of money I currently am and should definitely save more. 

Due to this revelation I am going to find inexpensive things to do on a Friday night (my night of choice because I work on Saturdays) and tell you all about it, if these things are interesting, If I sit at home painting my toenails, listening to The Cure and singing to my cat I most probably won't write about that. Since I am going to be missing out on a few drunken escapades I feel obliged to give you a run down of last night's antics. Get ready people, there was karaoke. 

Firstly we went for a quick half at the local whilst waiting for a bus, where we decided to get a taxi instead (fiver down already). Then we ended up at a 'social club' where we had to 'sign in' and met my friend's friends, who were an eclectic mix to say the least. The place was odd, it was like they had put a bar in a living room, and well frankly we were the youngest people in the joint by at least a decade. 

Then we left her friends, saying we will meet up later, and went to my friends' party. After two seconds one of the birthday boys had pulled me into his lap, spilled his drink over me and licked my face, I then helped his mother (yes his mother) chase him round and feed him water, also his girlfriend nearly fell of a balcony and threw his birthday cake all over a table. 

My friend's friends turned up and we made a swiftish exit to a weird looking bar across the street because we thought there was karaoke, there wasn't but shots were fifty pence, and frankly that was enticing. This was another weird bar, it was like the bus station late at night but with flashing lights and better music (marginally). The two women behind the bar I mistook for men initially and one was wearing a fedora, which I intoxicatedly described my adoration for. Repeatedly. We took some horrible photographs which no doubt will end up on Facebook and danced to some god awful music. 

Then we headed toward a gay bar in search, again, of karaoke. Which we found. I drank a pint of Guinness and we sang Air Hostess by Busted, I am sure it was excellent. My friend signed me up for mystery karaoke and I did Fighter by Christina Aguilera which has been filmed, by my boyfriends brother who I had only met once before, that week, for the first time. We found him in the gay bar, we danced and adopted him into the group. I rang his brother, which I am sure he loved. Or not, as I later was informed he hates it when I ring him late at night... drama drama drama. 

We parted ways with the eclectic friends leaving me, my initial lovely friend and my boyfriend's brother to head towards the only 'decent' club in the vicinity. We positioned ourselves on the stage and danced regularly with the brother 'protecting us' from potential creepers. To which he nearly got punched for 'grinding against a guy' but it did work to get rid of him. 

Speaking of nearly getting punched, I forgot that previously, we had been told off for calling a guy ginger after we befriended him at the cash-point, with the line 'goodbye my new ginger friend'. And he accused us of being racist. Was very offended. And I patronized him to the maximum when my friends asked 'what colour would you say your hair is' and I gave him the multiple choice answer of 'red, auburn or ginger'... oops. Telling them my boyfriend and my own brother are ginger didn't pacify him either, there is no pleasing some people. 

Back to the club, we are all dancing so hard right now that no one is drinking alcohol and are all on water. Pretty sure I was taking the 'sexy' dancing far too seriously and in fact looked like I was having some kind of fit on stage, or an exorcism. That's beside the point. Around three we decided to go get food.

We went to a noodle bar, where I proceeded to discuss all the flaws in my new relationship with my boyfriend's brother. Bad move one. Over noodles. Which I massacred and complimented myself on my ability to consume food, whilst complaining I am fat. Bad move two. We got a taxi but it was far more expensive than it should have been. I was falling asleep on the brother. Telling him we should go running together, what?! But over all it was a bonding experience. 

They slowly dissipated till it was me, alone in the taxi, end of the line. The taxi is about to pull away when I see my friend's phone on the seat. I launch myself at the door, grab the phone and proceed to wake my entire household when I get in. She rings the phone after waking her brother to use his, I answer dazed and confused but all in all everything is fine.

I have woken up with false eyelashes stuck to my wall and my friends phone being cradled by my cat who has been meowing at me for twenty minutes for attention. I need a cuppa. 

Daphne