Love and Lust: A View By Daphne

I don't brag to have had multiple sexual experiences but I have recently had a slight epiphany on the positive aspects of having sex with someone that you ACTUALLY like. Really like. It has just started to make me think that some of those drunken fumbley experienced I described as excellent were really just uncomfortable. I mean there were some pros. 

Pros

• Doesn't matter if you haven't shaved/underwear doesn't match/have made questionable hair or fashion choices. Likelihood is you will never, ever see this individual again and if you do you will both do your damnedest to pretend that you have never met.
• You can try out any 'new moves' you have been developing mentally, without giving a crap if they aren't enjoying the whole 'wait a minute, nearly there' aspect of the situation. 
• The (usually) alcohol fuelled magic of the night makes you forget any uncomfortable moments, accidental falling off the bed, kept your socks on or that moment when you couldn't undo your bra and took it off like a jumper.
• You can be incredibly selfish, selfish like you have never been before. Just blame it on the alcohol...

Cons

• You feel a bit awkward cuddling a stranger and leaving at four in the morning makes you feel a little bit grotty (taxi drivers most definitely judge you too).
• Speaking of taxi-driver-judgement, the walk of shame is just too uncomfortable to bear and nine times out of ten you will bump into your grandma's best mate or an old school teacher, you can practically feel their burning disappointment. 
• Raiding a stranger's kitchen is slightly inappropriate but sometimes all you want is a cuppa and some paracetamol and what a surprise Mr Charming from last night is gone, replaced by Mr Lies In Bed Until You Leave. 
• If you do miraculously stay in contact with this individual and it develops into anything, they can always use the circumstances of your get together against you, oh and accuse you of being 'that sort of girl'. The fun having kind? 

Then there is having sex with someone you like, someone that doesn't make you feel like a piece of toast that landed butter side down that they blew the crumbs off and ate anyway. It is pretty nice really. As someone who has had body confidence issues and whatnot it is surprisingly lovely. 

Pros

• You are already comfortable with this person, you want to know more about this person and you are sharing something rather excellent that can only really get better from here on out. 
• Totally okay to cuddle away to your hearts content and you want to say nice things to each other  and actually talk about things you like. 
• I may have mentioned that not having shaved or mismatching underwear or bad fashion choices don't matter in a one night stand set up. Well I am here to inform you ladies, if you don't already know of course, that it doesn't matter with someone you like either; yes they might make fun of you for it but at the end of the day this person really likes you and it is only teasing, they don't care as long as it is you. 
• You don't have to pull any 'special moves' because just being yourself is enough.
• Awkward or uncomfortable moments are rare and funny later on so you don't even have to worry about that really.

Basically, if the person in question really likes you then not much actually matters as long as you are both happy in bed. I'm sure there are lots of cons and plenty of pros to casual sex, because I championed it for long enough, women being in control of their own sexuality. But for someone that has only recently really experienced how intimate sex can be with someone you care about, definitely think I am going to stick with this for a while.