I've done it again. I have bought Glamour magazine and surprise surprise it is full of absolute woman hating bullshit. I CANNOT FUCKING BELIEVE I REPEATEDLY DO THIS. When I am looking at the pretty pictures all is fine. There is nothing that makes me feel grim as a human, they are just pretty, shiny, well-lit pictures. It is the reading that makes me angry, so angry. To quote the 'everyone is sending naked pictures of themselves' article, which is not interesting in the slightest but that is a whole other point, the line 'no 24 year old today has any pubic hair, but someone of 34 does... If I had met someone my age today who said they had all their hair down there, I'd call them a hippy', well awful, snobby, vile representation of my gender I would just like to say on behalf of all freethinking women world over that you are what bring the rest of our females down. If you do something because, quote, 'Sex and The City made getting a Brazilian fabulous' then you really should just keep your opinions to yourself. If the lovely bepubed lady decided to share her full hairy nature with you you should commend her on her bravery to be herself and assume that it wouldn't affect peoples opinions of her, which you seem to be proving it does.
Oh but wait one second, what is this Glamour? Amongst your articles of how us women can 'please' our men or just generally reducing our gender to a pretty unflattering stereotype there is an article on feminism, gasp. Glamour, tackling feminism oh please tell me more. No, that was also a total waste of precious minutes of my life. Basically listing slight occurrences in recent history that could be classified as 'pro-feminism' and some that are not so much. Really just making a point that any woman worth her salt is already aware of. Then I realise that the whole point of this little article is to promote a book ingeniously entitled 'Fifty Shades of Feminism' and that Glamour are just doing their bit to advertise this. Nice. Can I just add that what is this fad in the magazine industry that they think that by putting 'Fifty Shades of....(Whatever)' means that it is a good witty title for a feature. Sure, Fifty Shades sold well, but that doesn't mean that you should use it as the headline, it's dull and unimaginative.
I've recently been starting to wonder how far magazines like Glamour and Cosmopolitan can go in this day and age, I mean haven't they been through every sex position in the proverbial book, no one is bendy enough to do the ones that are left. I mean Vogue and Elle, despite promoting unhealthy body shapes and far too expensive clothing at least have a clear fashion centric aim for the most part and the other articles tend to be damn good writing. Glamour just makes me feel greasy and ashamed when I actually read the 'articles', so entirely and whole heartedly disappointed in myself for wasting two pounds I could have spent on food. YEAH THAT'S RIGHT GLAMOUR I LIKE TO EAT AND DON'T WANT TO DO YOUR FIFTY EASY BODY TWEAKS.
I am so guilty of this, so far this month I have bought Glamour, Vogue, i-D, oh Comely, Elle and Elle Runway. This needs to stop. I spend too much money. However I do really enjoy the fashion side, and the photography in Vogue, but I just have to bear in mind that these models are not something that I can attempt to be body-wise. It does make me laugh how they try to shock you all the time with sex surveys, that we all know people lie on, I lie on surveys all the time for fun, especially if it's a sex one. It's very fulfilling making people think you have a ear fetish. Yeah... sure... lying...
I feel like that women's magazines are going the same way as nail varnish, we've had leather effect, suede effect, snake skin, textured, smelly, 3-d, 5-d, pointed square and every color under the sun, yet every month they tell us there is a new one YOU MUST HAVE. To finish this ridiculous metaphor, basically I feel like these magazines have no taboos left to be broken, no more secrets of womanhood to be told. But I know that I will keep buying Glamour, it's like a literary comfort food, even if reading it puts me off all food accept celery. I'll probably keep i-D and Vogue, I think the photography can be good, and I like looking at the high fashion and then finding my own high street/ charity version. Plus I think the articles are interesting and have a good tone. But, disappointingly I sometimes think the magazine that was the bible of womanhood seems to be a veiled 50's housewife magazine. The audience that the publishers aim for seem to be every women under the age of 35, yet they really don't really represent their audience well. They don't commit to high fashion which make the extortionate prices on the of clothes featured unreasonable, no 'every-woman' could consider actually dressing like the photo shoot. I'm also annoyed with the London centric nature of magazines, there is a world outside of the capital. This is highly irritating, London is a trek, a trek we northerners cannot afford. We aren't any less cool because we don't live in London - we have Manchester, we have Leeds, we weren't born in barns. Although they always have attractive men in, which I appreciate.
But I think I would find it difficult to go cold turkey on Glamour, it's become something of a companion on a cold train ride, and introduced me to some really great people through their interviews and occasionally serious issues, such as labiaplasty, plus, it's only £2. And I wouldn't turn down a job working there, or even an internship. I just think that often woman's magazines are just raking over old ground. Sad fact is I probably wouldn't either and they do have their plus points, but almost everyone I know seems to just feel saddened by their stuff rather than uplifted, it is like they want us to feel abnormal or inadequate.
Daphne and Dorothy
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