More Woman Hating Bull-Shit?

So I was scrolling through my Facebook feed and this popped up from one of those pages I'd liked a thousand years ago, my first reaction was just a simple 'Oh for God's sake'. So what if she has a good body and kids? Some women have jobs, degrees, kids and would rather chill out than exercise, what of it? I don't get why we need an 'excuse' for not looking like a Barbie doll, super model or Jessica Ennis. Some people prioritise exercise and that doesn't make them better women, just because she is a mother and toned doesn't make her any better than anyone else. Rant over. 

Image from http://lolzstart.com/whats-your-excuse/?utm_source=Ayesha&utm_medium=fb-Ayesha&utm_campaign=Ayesha

Daphne

The Issues of Travelling Alone, Feminist Rant.

A Discussion with Daphne and Dorothy.


This summer I plan on doing a bit of solo travelling, as a single, young female this has been met with a lot of anxiety from some of my friends and I was quite shocked.

Firstly, I don't plan on working street corners or going into seedy, drug-filled, basement raves so I didn't really get the concern for my well being. And then it was followed by 'aren't you scared of you know... rape'. Now this had me thinking. I mean, my mum says it to me quite regularly, oh don't wear that and do that. But mothers worry so she can be forgiven, doesn't make me any less angry. Here is a list I've compiled as to why:

1. Being a woman and being alone should not make me an identity-less rape target. It is like any other form of crime but if preventing myself from being a victim means living in fear, never going anywhere alone and covering MY BODY to hide anything that may excite or entice a male onlooker is frankly no way to live.
2. What I wear in actual fact probably has little weight on the matter, if a man goes out with the intention of raping a young lady, if an individual is sick enough to want to commit this crime, then I doubt he is going to go 'Oh look at her respectable knee length skirt, she is clearly not an ideal victim for my disgusting lack of humanity'. 
3. Women's outfits are actually a walking weapon factory, we are warriors when we go out. And Dorothy for one is not afraid to inflict a little damage if anyone gets too touchy in a club. Rings like knuckle dusters, spikes and studs on clutches and ankle breaker heels are all in our arsenal. The amount of damage a stiletto can inflict is impressive, not to mention being kicked by a girl wearing wedges hurts like a bitch.

I agree with what you are saying, these  are depressing reasons that people dissuade travelling alone. But at the same time not everyone is as noble as we want them to be. If you get into a 'sticky situation' you will have no on-the-ground support. The thing that I'm worried about is your trusting nature.

We shouldn't have to live in the world where being trusting is a crime. I want to be able to live and say that I have taken risks and at the end of the day RAPE IS NEVER MY FAULT, I shouldn't have to be fearful of doing anything to encourage such a heinous crime. 

Yeah, we shouldn't. But the fact is that we do. This isn't just about rape, its about of potential situations that when alone would be very uncomfortable.

Those situations apply to men too though, and men travelling alone is encouraged because it is 'character building' and they 'find themselves'. I'm sick of feeling like a walking target or a ticking time bomb waiting for the inevitable rape or lucky escape. It happens to one in three women so I'm just as likely travelling as I am on an unlucky night out in my home town. At least I am getting out there and living a little bit when taking the dangerous risks of being a woman...

That's what I'm saying, the rape issue is just as risky at home, but I would advise a potential traveler  female or male to take a co-traveller  As a precaution. You will be a vulnerable person, especially when people realize your alone. But at the same time, it will be amazingly character building, it's you call to take that choice however.Your a very sociable person, I'm not really, in the same way.

The point of travelling alone is that it forces you to be more sociable. Staying in hostels you meet like-minded solo travellers with similar interests and experiences to share, hostels are relatively safe places nowadays and security is pretty excellent, so the real threat is the sort of stuff I do at home anyway. I don't intend on running around and latching on to strangers, I just fancy a bit of self reflection. 

Wherever you go in the world there will be bad and good people. Personally, I would just like to have someone by my side that I could definitely rely on if push comes to shove. I just think that travelling alone would definitely decrease your personal security. Just make sure your carrying hairspray at all times, it's just as good as pepper spray.
Dorothy

I'll bear that in mind! 
Daphne

Really Great Things: One Billion Rising

On Febuary the 14th, instead of feeling sorry for yourself, like I most probably will be, how about getting involved with this, there are 'Risings' going on all over the world, and both men and women are welcome, although it tackles issues dealt with by women:

ABOUT ONE BILLION RISING

ONE IN THREE WOMEN ON THE PLANET WILL BE RAPED OR BEATEN IN HER LIFETIME.

ONE BILLION WOMEN VIOLATED IS AN ATROCITY

ONE BILLION WOMEN DANCING IS A REVOLUTION

On V-Day’s 15th Anniversary, 14 February 2013, we are inviting ONE BILLION women and those who love them to WALK OUT, DANCE, RISE UP, and DEMAND an end to this violence. ONE BILLION RISING will move the earth, activating women and men across every country. V-Day wants the world to see our collective strength, our numbers, our solidarity across borders.

What does ONE BILLION look like? On 14 February 2013, it will look like a REVOLUTION.

ONE BILLION RISING IS:

A global strike
An invitation to dance
A call to men and women to refuse to participate in the status quo until rape and rape culture ends
An act of solidarity, demonstrating to women the commonality of their struggles and their power in numbers
A refusal to accept violence against women and girls as a given
A new time and a new way of being

READ: EVE’S LATEST HUFFPOST PIECE: “DEAR MR. AKIN, I WANT YOU TO IMAGINE…”

August 20, 2012

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/eve-ensler/todd-akin-rape_b_1812930.html

Dear Todd Akin,

I am writing to you tonight about rape. It is 2 AM and I am unable to sleep here in the Democratic Republic of Congo. I am in Bukavu at the City of Joy to serve and support and work with hundreds, thousands of women who have been raped and violated and tortured from this ceaseless war for minerals fought on their bodies.

I am in Congo but I could be writing this from anywhere in the United States, South Africa, Britain, Egypt, India, Philippines, most college campuses in America. I could be writing from any city or town or village where over half a billion women on the planet are raped in their lifetime.

Mr. Akin, your words have kept me awake.

As a rape survivor, I am reeling from your recent statement where you said you misspoke when you said that women do not get pregnant from legitimate rape, and that you were speaking "off the cuff."

Clarification. You didn't make some glib throwaway remark. You made a very specific ignorant statement clearly indicating you have no awareness of what it means to be raped. And not a casual statement, but one made with the intention of legislating the experience of women who have been raped. Perhaps more terrifying it was a window into the psyche of the GOP.

You used the expression "legitimate" rape as if to imply there were such a thing as "illegitimate" rape. Let me try to explain to you what that does to the minds, hearts and souls of the millions of women on this planet who experience rape. It is a form of re-rape. The underlying assumption of your statement is that women and their experiences are not to be trusted. That their understanding of rape must be qualified by some higher, wiser authority. It delegitimizes and undermines and belittles the horror, invasion, desecration they experienced. It makes them feel as alone and powerless as they did at the moment of rape.

When you, Paul Ryan and 225 of your fellow co-sponsors play with words around rape suggesting only "forcible" rape be treated seriously as if all rapes weren't forcible, it brings back a flood of memories of the way the rapists played with us in the act of being raped -- intimidating us, threatening us,muting us. Your playing with words like "forcible" and "legitimate" is playing with our souls which have been shattered by unwanted penises shoving into us, ripping our flesh, our vaginas, our consciousness, our confidence, our pride, our futures.

Now you want to say that you misspoke when you said that a legitimate rape couldn't get us pregnant. Did you honestly believe that rape sperm is different than love sperm, that some mysterious religious process occurs and rape sperm self-destructs due to its evilcontent? Or, were you implying that women and their bodies are somehow responsible for rejecting legitimate rape sperm, once again putting the onus on us? It would seem you were saying that getting pregnant after a rape would indicate it was not a "legitimate" rape.

Here's what I want you to do. I want you to close your eyes and imagine that you are on your bed or up against a wall or locked in a small suffocating space. Imagine being tied up there and imagine some aggressive, indifferent, insane stranger friend or relative ripping off your clothes and entering your body -- the most personal, sacredprivate part of your body -- and violently, hatefully forcing themself into you so that you are ripped apart. Then imagine that stranger's sperm shooting into you and filling you and you can't get it out. It is growing something in you. Imagine you have no idea what that life will even consist of, spiritually made in hate, not knowing the mental or health background of the rapist.

Then imagine a person comes along, a person who has never had that experience of rape, and that person tells you, you have no choice but to keep that product of rape growing in you against your will and when it is born it has the face of your rapist, the face of the person who has essentially destroyed your being and you will have to look at the face every day of your life and you will be judged harshly if you cannot love that face.

I don't know if you can imagine any of this (leadership actually requires this kind of compassion), but if you are willing to go to the depth of this darkness, you will quickly understand there is NO ONE WHO CAN MAKE THAT CHOICE to have or not have the baby, but the person carrying that baby herself.

I have spent much time with mothers who have given birth to children who are the product of rape. I have watched how tortured they are wrestling with their hate and anger, trying not to project that onto their child.

I am asking you and the GOP to get out of my body, out of my vagina, my womb, to get out of all of our bodies. These are not your decisions to make. These are not your words to define.

Why don't you spend your time ending rape rather than redefining it? Spend your energy going after those perpetrators who so easily destroy women rather than parsing out manipulative language that minimizes their destruction.

And by the way you've just given millions of women a very good reason to make sure you never get elected again, and an insanely good reason to rise.

#ReasonToRise

Eve Ensler
Bukavu, Congo

Follow Eve Ensler on Twitter: www.twitter.com/eveensler

“IF YOU WOULDN’T HAVE BEEN THERE THAT NIGHT, NONE OF THIS WOULD HAVE HAPPENED TO YOU.”

September 11, 2012

That's what Arizona trial Judge Jacqueline Hatch told a woman who had been sexually assaulted in an Arizona bar. 

Police officer Robb Gary Evans was convicted of sexual abuse. The felony carries a two and half year maximum prison sentence but Judge Hatch instead reduced the sentence to probation and 100 hours of community service before transferring responsibility to the victim of the crime.

Another reason to RISE - for a justice system that works to protect victims and not criminals.

To find out more go to: http://onebillionrising.org/